1 Timothy 3:4, 5 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)
Prominent among the qualifications for elders in 1 Timothy 3 is the statement that an elder must manage (or rule or preside over) his own family well and see that his children obey him. An explanation is given as to why this element is felt to be so important - (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) That line of argument suggests a number of things. First of all, there is some sort of analogy between church life and family life. They are clearly separate spheres and yet there are similarities. The sorts of attributes one would look for, therefore, in a father are the sorts of attributes one would also look for in a good elder. If a man's family life is a bit of a mess, if his children disobey him, if they show him no respect, then there should be warning lights flashing when someone suggests that he be considered as elder material. This does not mean to say that a single man cannot be an elder or that a married man who is childless cannot be one either. Rather a suggestion is made as to the sort of thing to be on the look out for when looking for an elder. If a married man is struggling to manage his family, best not give him another burden to carry. In the case of an unmarried man you will need to imagine what he would be like in a family setting. Just as a father manages his household so an elder presides over the church.
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